Dick-ometrics Is Real And It's The Future

Mashable - What if instead of using a password you could just use your penis? CamSoda, the webcam platform, is proposing you do just that. They’re launching a very intimate new way to keep your account secure. It’s called Dick-ometrics, and as the name suggests it uses your peen print as a way to identify you. 

Here’s how it works: Beginning today, you’ll be able to use a pic of your dick in place of a more traditional password. To do this, you’ll need to supply an establishing shot of your member. Then when you want to log in, they’ll use their “proprietary Penis Recognition Tech” to match your penis to the initial photo.

The eventual plan is to be able to use a penisprint in the same way you’d use a fingerprint. So you’d, like, put your peen on a reader and then some beeps and bops would happen and then voilà

The company says an erect penis is preferable since there are more “differentiating qualities for verification.”  What about those of us who don’t have a penis to scan? Well, CamSoda says there are “plans to develop similar technology for women.”

The future truly is now. Why the hell would you want to unlock your phone any other way? Sure you could get arrested for whipping it out in public but that's only because the people who are offended by this lack vision. If you would've told me when I was 13 that 20 years later I could open up my phone just by taking a picture of my dong, my head would've exploded



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